Tuesday, May 29 was my first day of my internship at GAAP for this summer. This day stood out to me not only because it was my first day experiencing the Tenderloin community, but it was also a day my mind was just filled with so much unsettled feelings. One of my blessing this summer is the fact that my lunch is an hour and half long, which gives me a great opportunity to get to know, experience, and immerse the Tenderloin community. On this day, I decided to not eat lunch and just walk around the streets of the Tenderloin community. As I walked, I saw numerous homeless people in the streets that were mentally ill, addicted to drugs, hopeless, not fully there, smelly, full of sadness and depression, overwhelmed, unloved, not paid attention to, unhealthy, and joyless. These feelings overwhelmed me and I was trying to figure out their stories and how they ended up there.
The emotions I felt remind me of my experience in Brazil during Jan term with the homeless people I met and fed there. The feelings are so overwhelming that it makes me think that this world is messed up, horrible, and evil. But I began to think humanity’s sinful nature, disobedience to God’s holy word, and the evil powers of Satan that brings us so much pain. I can only understand the pain that these people experience spiritually, because if it were not for drugs and alcohol, the majority of those homeless people would be living a better life. I felt trapped, imprisoned, and hopeless, because I realized that this problem was so big and not some thing that I or anyone else can solve. No matter how many homeless people organizations or charities feed, house, and take care, the problem will always exist.
These thoughts only led me to hopelessness until God came into the picture. I realized that this world is only temporary and there will be a better place where there are no cries and mourning, but happiness, peace, fulfillment, eternal life and abundant love. But until then, we are called to spread this hope so that people may be healed and live a fulfilling life now and in the promise land. I can’t help the homeless with money because I’m not rich and even if I was, I still would not be able to solve the problem of homelessness in the world because it’s too Big. But I have something little that can grow and that I can share and that is faith. It’s something that has given me hope, positivity, and energy in my life. I might as well share it because there is a possibility that it might grow if I plant it and someone else waters it. Even if i was a billionaire, I would rather give faith rather than billions of dollars, because faith produces something that money can’t, I call it Life. Life that death cannot overcome.